TODAY'S NEWS: Lots of people say that mind-control doesn't exist, but you can't prove a negative, like "There isn't ice cream in the freezer any more," so there's no point in pursuing accusations about me eating the last of it. Instead, let's talk about my book! You can still get in on the special pre-order price, plus BONUS GIFTS! Just email me by this Saturday (September 24th) and tell me how many books you want:

Perhaps you're thinking "Wow, he's really obsessed about this falling satellite thing," and you'd be right. I may be mind-control-resistant, since in actuality, a lot of the GPS mind-control programming is solely to make us forget that large man-made objects fall from the sky every year. Do you remember a large satellite falling in 2010? I rest my case.