TODAY'S NEWS: You're probably thinking: "Hey, that's a great idea for a new product: Pre-Toasted Toast! That's even better than Pre-Cooked Bacon!" (And if those are combined with Pre-Washed Lettuce and Individually-Wrapped Tomato Slices, one could reduce assembly time for a standard BLT down to a few seconds.) The one problem I see is that if one's Pre-Toasted Toast is stored at room temperature, you'd have to heat it up, like, in the toaster. Which defeats the purpose. Therefore, we need a Scientific Breakthrough, so Consumers can take a shelf-stable, individually-wrapped slice of Pre-Toasted Toast from the cupboard, whack the packet on the counter to activate, and ten seconds later, open it to reveal a delicious piece of hot, crispy toast! If NASA can invent Tang and Gummi Worms, this should be easy for them.